it's like iHOP with fire
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
