I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize