Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My first STD was from a foam party
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
