I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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