is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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