Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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