he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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