New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
