You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
