I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he thought i was a dude.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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