I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
