looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize