You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
