Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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