So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
