And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
