there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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