Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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