I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
