We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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