Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
