Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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