I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
