I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
