Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
