i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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