Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
