im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
