Your face is a jimmy john
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
