Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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