For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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