I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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