yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
