he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
