I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
