Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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