I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize