I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
