this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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