Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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