no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just had sex on a roof
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
