drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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