the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
