Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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