Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
