I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
