New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
two words...techno handjob
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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