Got a toothbrush?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
