I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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