my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
