I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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