come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
