He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
