I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
