she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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