this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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