Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize