Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
