Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
