How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You smell like stripper and shame
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
