we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
