he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
