Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
