So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
