Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
